Narcissistic Abuse & Career Burnout: My Story of Breaking Free

Some of the links in this post may be affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission—at no extra cost to you. I only share what I love!

Have you ever sat at your beautiful work-from-home desk, surrounded by everything you thought you wanted—high salary, top-tier benefits, the name of a Fortune 500 company on your resume—yet felt burnout and completely hollow inside?

Like every morning was a battle just to open your laptop, and every Zoom meeting chipped away at a piece of your soul?

You kept telling yourself you should be grateful… but all you could think was: Is this really it?

The Hidden Career Cost of Narcissistic Abuse

Then one day, when misery was overtaking you, you decided to to doom scroll on LinkedIn with no hope that something better could ever come along.. and to your surprise the perfect job posting was right before your eyes?

The job.
An in-office position with higher pay.
A full benefits package.
6% employer 401(k) match.
Three weeks of vacation, scaling up to five.
An education reimbursement program—maybe you’d finally go to law school like you’d been dreaming about.

It’s everything you’ve wanted. Everything you’re qualified for.

And yet… you don’t apply.

Emotional Depletion That Blocks Career Momentum

Not because you aren’t ready. But because you’ve been too emotionally depleted to even believe something better is possible.

Do you also now feel nostalgic about how you let that position slip from right under you because you are in a relationship with a narcissist? Welp, I have been there too! 

When Emotional Burnout Creeps Into Your Career

Dealing with a narcissistic partner can deeply impact your career growth, clarity, and confidence. If you’ve ever felt stuck, exhausted, or confused about whether the problem is really you—you’re not alone. In fact, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a Clinical Psychologist and retired Psychology Professor, shares in her new book that narcissists often operate in cycles: one day they charm you, the next they gaslight you and erode your self-esteem, leaving you questioning your reality.

✨ Before we dive deeper, download my free workbook “Where Are You Right Now?” to help you reflect on how emotional burnout may be affecting your career and identify the first step toward real freedom.

And if you’re seeking clarity on narcissistic abuse, Dr. Ramani’s book offers research-backed insights and validation that can feel like an exhale after years of confusion.

The constant emotional turmoil created by narcissistic behavior can lead to significant emotional exhaustion and distraction. This often manifests as a pattern of persistent negativity, where there’s a frequent sense of something being wrong, someone being blamed, or standards being unreasonably high. These behaviors can include gaslighting, manipulation, and arguments, all of which contribute to a draining and destabilizing environment.

How It Impacts Productivity and Performance

As a result, this impacts your productivity; you do the least possible to get by because you do not have the energy or the mental capacity to focus like you used to, leading you to stop prioritizing the work flow you once had that made you so successful and receive the accolades and the amazing feedback you would always got back from your team and boss when you jumped in and helped out on extra projects.

One day you even realize that the application deadline for internal candidates for a role you had been hoping for last year was yesterday – it just passed you by without you even noticing? Did you miss an email? 

The Invisible Weight of a Narcissistic Relationship

Later that day, you feel the sting of missing the application deadline. So, you do what most of us would—you vent to your partner. You mention how disappointed you are. How your boss had even encouraged you to apply. 

And your partner responds with something like:

“Didn’t your boss just give Melissa a bigger bonus than you a few months ago? Maybe she’s only hyping you up because Ashley’s going on maternity leave and she needs someone to pick up the slack.”

You mentioned that while you appreciate that he has your back, you were really seeking some support because you are feeling disappointed that you missed this opportunity for advancement. This escalates into an argument about how naive you are and how you are overreacting.

Aaannd ultimately, you dead the topic because he is, after all, just helping you see how you are being used by your boss to her own advantage.  

The Mental Load of Constant Emotional Distortion

So, yes, in a short, 5-minute conversation that began with you sharing a disappointing experience with your partner, your mental capacity has been stretched even thinner. You’re not overreacting. You’re not broken. You’re exhausted because you’ve been fighting two battles: one in your career, and one in your relationship.

So, you spend the rest of the evening focusing on all your responsibilities and talk only about the necessary things, who is brining what kid to which activity and who is making dinner.

You are exhausted by the time you get home from being the taxi to your children. You get home and start a load of laundry and clean up the house, and put the kids to bed..

Then you finally get some alone time by 10pm and you lay in your bed, alone, and you fall asleep  with your phone in your hand thinking about hitting the apply button for the dreamy in-office job that is now on your LinkedIn saved jobs list. 

The Slow Fade of Your Dreams

By Friday, you and your partner have barely spoken.

You pass each other like strangers in the hallway between your respective home offices. Quick bathroom breaks, him on his way out the door for lunch. Loading laundry on your lunch. Tired silences.

Then finally—he breaks the tension.

“Want to grab tacos? My treat.”

You say yes, of course. Because maybe this is the beginning of reconnection.

You are excited that it won’t be an awkwardly long weekend again as you travel together for your son’s travel baseball game… 

Your Dreams Don’t Disappear—They Get Quieter

But somewhere deep inside, you’re still holding onto that job you didn’t apply for.

The one sitting in your LinkedIn saved list.

The one that represented more than a career shift—it was your lifeline. A whisper from the universe saying:

“You don’t have to stay stuck.“

You’re Not Broken—You’re Burned Out

If you’ve ever felt like your job is draining your soul, like you’re missing career opportunities you once would’ve jumped at, like your creativity and ambition are buried under the weight of emotional burnout…

You’re not crazy.
You’re not weak.
You’re just exhausted—from your job and from a relationship that undermines your dreams.

You Can Reclaim Your Power and Purpose

The truth? You don’t have to choose between emotional survival and professional success.

You can reclaim your clarity. You can break free.

And it all starts by giving yourself permission to believe:
✨ Your dreams are valid. And you are worthy of something more.

Ready to Take the First Step Toward Freedom?

✨ Ready to reclaim your power and align your career with your soul?
Download the free “Where Are You Right Now?” guidebook and take your first step to freedom.