My Rock Bottom Was Divinely Orchestrated: What the Floor Mattress Taught Me About Chess, Angels, and Survival

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When Rock Bottom Feels Like The End

I understand why people don’t believe in angels and in the divine.

When I spent the largest amount of cash I’d ever gotten my hands on in less than one year following “divine guidance,” it did not feel like “things were always working out for me.”

What it felt like was lonely. Painful. Hopeless. I truly believed there was no way I was going to get up from this one this time. And I believed—down to my core—what the people in my life were saying to me:

“Nobody is going to want an unemployed, single mother of two.”
“You’ll never find someone better than me.”

In the three-dimensional world around me, those words made sense. I had an associate’s degree, a bachelor’s degree, and a master’s degree—but nothing to show for it. I had applied to over 50 jobs and received 51 rejections.

What did I have to show for the years I’d poured myself into motherhood and marriage? For being a devoted wife who put her career on the back burner so her husband could accelerate his? So her kids could go to private school, have a home-cooked meal every day, and a fully present mother?

Nothing. Nothing.

Divine Guidance or Delusion?

When I looked around the room at the mattress on the floor where I was sleeping with my daughter…
When I saw the makeshift nightstand stacked with quarters I’d counted to see if I could afford another $10 Uber Eats run…
That loneliness grew heavier. I felt broken. I felt worthless. I was shattered.

For the third time in my life—Luisa, the now 35-year-old single mother of two—I had lost everything.

And yet, those angelic “divine” messages kept showing up. As if to say, “You are not alone.”

It didn’t make sense.

Why would angels support decisions that led me here? Why would my spirit team let me walk off this cliff? How could they allow me to invest money in things that didn’t yield the return I needed… at least to pay my damn bills?

I know what it feels like to follow divine nudges and still wonder if they’ve led you astray. If you’re in that fog, this reflection on leaving security behind might resonate. Sometimes purpose doesn’t announce itself with certainty—it asks you to keep walking anyway.

The Floor Mattress: A Front-Row Seat to Truth

As much as I questioned the divine, that mattress taught me things nothing else ever could.

It was the first time in my life that I could see people for who they truly were.
It was the first time I had the space to observe, to listen, and to hear the dissonance in the words and actions of the people who said they cared.

That mattress—so close to the ground, with sheets that barely fit—was my front-row seat to manipulation.
To exploitation.
To the gut-wrenching betrayal that comes from realizing you were never truly seen.

The Patterns I Could No Longer Ignore

Had I heard those words before—manipulation, guilt-tripping, passive aggression?
A million times.

But I never imagined I had been living under the weight of them for decades.
Not me. I was educated, middle class, a “heart of gold” kind of woman. Surely I’d see it coming.

But I didn’t.

My angels and spirit team allowed this collapse because I still didn’t see.
I still didn’t understand the pattern I kept repeating.

And so, I had to ask myself:

The Question That Changed Everything

“What happens right before I end up here?”
Who’s around me when I lose everything?
Who benefits when I give everything I have—then disappears when I’m empty?

And most importantly:
What inside of me allowed people to believe they could treat me like that?

What in my actions, words, and heart communicated that I was there to be used, molded, tossed aside when no longer useful?

That was the moment.
That was the shift.
That was when the light started to crack through the dark.

From Pawn to Player: The Spiritual Game of Chess

That same night, my angels whispered something else:

“A good chess player doesn’t reveal all their moves.”

So, I started to observe. Quietly.
I dusted myself off. Got a really shitty job that covered most of my bills.
I reserved my crying for the car rides to and from work.

And I journaled like my life depended on it—because it did.

I took my journals everywhere with me. They were my compass.

Because, in time, I realized:
This was never just about hardship. It was about learning to play the long game.

Why My Angels Let Me Fall

My spirit team didn’t abandon me.
They put me in the dark so I could see my own shadow.

They placed me in a position where the illusion would shatter, and I’d be able to see—clearly, finally—how I had been betraying myself all along.

Not maliciously.
Not consciously.
But systematically. Quietly. Softly. Over time.

And now? It was time to change the game.

The Sacred Strategy of Rising

Chess isn’t about the color of the pieces.
It’s about foresight, strategy, and adaptability.
It’s not about taking the most pieces; it’s about controlling the board.

Sacrifice doesn’t mean loss.
Silence doesn’t mean submission.
It’s about the long game—the shift that happens when you finally understand your worth.

So I stayed quiet.
I moved with intention.
I played smarter.

Because I was no longer a pawn.

✨ Soul Note

If you’re in your own “floor mattress” season right now, I want you to know something:

You’re not broken.
You’re being asked to see.
To observe.
To remember your strength.

Your spirit team may be silent—but they are not absent.
And the patterns you’re breaking? They are sacred.

You were never meant to live at the mercy of someone else’s comfort.
You were meant to own your story and walk forward in truth.

And when you’re ready, you’ll make your next brave move.

In Power, In Purpose, On My Terms ✨ Luisa Anderson

Related Resources

If you’re rebuilding from what feels like rubble, this piece on building a business from scratch might offer some grounded hope.